Words

Words are really important to writers. We think about them constantly. We try to pick just the right words to put in the blurb on the back of our books that will entice readers to want to read our stories.

We read and re-read passages we have written to make sure we have used the right words to communicate not just the scene, but the emotions in the scene. We look to see if we have used a certain word too much, if we have used a word that will confuse the reader.

Writers try very hard to paint a picture with words, trying hard to paint so vividly with words that all readers see the same picture. Of course, they never do.

Maybe it is because I am a writer I am so passionate about people being careful about their word choice. The more specific your word choice is, the better you are communicating. "I'm tired" and "I'm exhausted" convey different things.

For my writing, I have studied interpersonal conflict, and trigger words that can take a discussion and turn it into an argument. To write believable dialog, you have to listen a lot. When you listen a lot, you hear people agreeing and arguing at the same time, because their word choices don't match.

If all of us commit to choosing and using our words more carefully, I believe we can achieve more harmony and agreement. We have to be willing to really hear other's words as well.

Listening to the word choices people make, and restating what you think you heard using different word choices can allow you to draw a common picture with words that you both understand.

In my stories, people listen to each other, and try hard not to hurt each other, and resolve their differences in non-violent and productive ways. I believe most people want to live in a world like that.

Words matter. One way to start working towards a kinder, gentler world, is to make kinder, gentler word choices when we interact with each other. Especially when we disagree.