'Tis the season

November 1, so my Amazon sales page is back to zero for monthly sales and page reads. I really wanted to publish another Christmas book this year, but there is just no way I was able to summon the creative energy to do that. I forgive myself.

That said, with the number of friends and family I have, and the number of copies of books and page reads, there are an awful lot of people I know who have never read the two Christmas books I have written.

In 2021, I gave away a bunch of copies of Christmas Blessings, so many of my close family and friends have read that book. In 2022, the situation with Cecil's health had reached the point where I didn't have the time or energy to do a big giveaway of Marguerite's Christmas Project.

I shared a Facebook post this morning suggesting my books as Christmas gifts. That strategy hasn't yielded a lot in the past, but it doesn't hurt to keep trying.

Another difficult thing about this grief journey is how ill-equipped I am to handle disappointment. It is hard to try to do anything, because if it doesn't turn out well, the disappointment is crushing.

But I am trying to force myself to keep trying. Trying to build up my disappointment muscles so that they don't hurt so much when exercised going forward.

Maybe this year my Christmas books will catch on and I will sell a bunch of copies. I have repeatedly said that hope has to be a ferocious emotion. I will cling with ferocious hope to the belief that someday my hope will be rewarded with excitement rather than disappointment.