Looking out over the fog

This is my view this morning from my hotel window on the twenty-fourth floor. We are under a dense fog advisory. I was lucky enough to have dinner with a very dear friend who I haven't seen in years last night, and decided to use a free hotel night certificate I had to take any pressure off of myself and to avoid driving in the dark.

I love metaphors. As I looked out over the fog this morning, I thought how it is a perfect metaphor for this grief journey. Many days, the fog in my mind and in my heart is dense, and I can't see light, or hope or a future that has light and hope.

But some days, I can rise above the fog. Today is one of those days. I am blessed to have so very many good friends. I have a wonderful family. I am relatively healthy. I am free from financial worry. I have my precious dogs. I live in a great neighborhood, and have wonderful neighbors. There are so many reasons to rise above the fog and embrace life.

Whatever door in my mind opened during my walk on Saturday has remained open, and I am working on my stories again. It feels so good to spend time with my characters and document their adventures.

I know there are more days in front of me where the fog will surround me and I won't be able to rise above it. But each one of these days where I can look out over the fog are a gift. And I will try my best to embrace and celebrate these days.

And I believe that the ratio of good days to bad days will shift as time goes by. I will always miss Cecil. There will always be a Cecil sized hole in my heart.

But on mornings like this, I know that a full and happy life is possible again. I will try to hold on to that knowledge for the next day in the fog.