Letdown

I knew I would experience a letdown after coming home from the St. Jude Memphis Marathon weekend. I had started training for the race right after Cecil's funeral, and the training and anticipation of seeing everyone and celebrating Cecil was kind of a north star for me.

I didn't realize just how hard that letdown would hit. I didn't realize my Deuce would get sick and require a visit to the emergency vet, and I didn't know I would have a back spasm.

But my back did spasm, and Deuce did get sick, and I was a crying mass of pitiful on Saturday morning. I'm trying to claw my way out.

I took Deuce for a walk this morning, and then walked by myself. I stopped and took this picture at the halfway point of my walk.

This is the beauty I get to experience every day, right outside my house. I live one house from the Lake Pontchartrain levee, and this is the view on the other side.

I needed to remind myself today that I am so very lucky to enjoy this beautiful view on my daily walks. I needed to remind myself that there is always something to look forward to, even it if is just looking forward to this view.

I know that this entire month is going to be hard. The sadness is heavy. Part of me wants to just climb into bed and stay there. But I have to get up, and walk, and take care of my dogs, and try to look forward with anticipation instead of dread. Life will never be the same. I have to figure out how to make it the best life I can.