Another first behind me

I did my first race since Cecil died yesterday. Road racing was a thing that we did together. I can count on one hand the races I went to without him.

Needless to say, it was an emotional experience. I chose this race for a couple of reasons, the most significant reason being that it was an event race, with a lot of out of town participants, and not a high likelihood that I would see people who would either offer their sympathy or not know that Cecil had died.

Luckily for me, I picked well. The two people who I saw that I know, know me only tangentially, and I'm pretty sure did not remember my name, much less who I was married to.

It was still emotional. I wanted to get a half marathon under my belt before St. Jude in December to build confidence. I was able to achieve my goal of averaging under 15 minutes a mile. It was hot. The course was as hilly as you can possibly arrange in New Orleans. When I finished, it was all I could do to not cry.

I didn't stay for any of the post race activities, I wanted to get home for the Saints game, and I just wasn't feeling like walking around by myself.

I'm registered for the Turkey Day race, where I will see a lot of people that know both me and Cecil. We'll see how that goes.

But, another big first is behind me. And another big goal is achieved. And today I have that inevitable let down that comes on the heels of working towards and achieving a big goal.

After I finish my coffee, I will take Deuce for a walk, and then walk myself, and do some housework, and hopefully, work on my current novel in progress. And focus on a new goal.

Forward is the only direction to go. And it stays hard. But I'm going to keep on keeping on, believing that one day, it will all be easier.