Hope

More from re-reading my earlier books. This passage is from "Blessings from the Past".

"“I think so, Larry. These journals were written in a time when many people believed there was a tremendous difference between the races, and many people believed that people of color were less than human. These stories of people who did not feel that way, who recognized we are all God’s children are inspiring to me. When I get discouraged by how far we still have to go in our race relations in America, these stories restore my hope.”

“Unfortunately, often the loudest voices are the voices of anger, hatred and division. I believe there are more people who see all God’s children as equal now than ever before. But there are a lot of loud voices saying differently. Those of us who believe we are all created equal can use our hope bolstered up now and then. It is good that reading and translating these stories is restoring your hope.”

“Hope is a contagion,” said Bee. “That is one of Sister Dorothy’s favorite sayings. She says that while people should know we are Christians by our love, they should know we are disciples of Christ by our hope.” "

One of the hardest emotions that grief provoked for me was hopelessness. First, the pandemic shrunk my world, and then Cecil's cancer diagnosis and his desire to keep that diagnosis private shrunk my world further. As his disease progressed, and Cecil entered hospice with me as his full-time caretaker, he became the entire focus of my world. The hope that somehow he would pull through stayed strong until the very end.

And then hopelessness set in. I knew that my hope should now be focused on Cecil entering the presence of Our Lord, and I tried. But what about me? What was there for me to hope for now that Cecil was gone?

And Sister Dorothy's words were what I used to pull myself up. Jesus died for our sins so that we would have everlasting life. To lose hope is to minimize the great gift that God gave us of His only Son. I had to remain hopeful in the promises of Christ to be who God made me to be.

And it was a daily battle, sometimes a minute by minute battle, to remain hopeful that my life could still have meaning and purpose. It still is.

But I keep writing stories of hope and faith and redemption. And I am putting myself out there and meeting new people and volunteering. I am finding my place in this world without Cecil.

And trying hard to be an example of seeing all of God's children as equal, and valued, and loved. I hope that that belief is as contagious as hope.